London: Day 3

 Saturday, May 30

Today was supposed to be a Free Day. Basically that meant we didn't plan precisely, but had lots of discussion about what we all wanted to do.

We left the flat a little after 9:00. It was very blissful to get a little more sleep. All of us headed to the British Museum, which was a must-see on my London list. 

Most of the group just popped in for a bit to get a quick overview then went shopping and exploring, but Lindsay and I settled in for the day. 

There is no way to explain the British Museum. Although we thought we had all day there, I still felt a little panicky because even if we just skimmed (that term is used loosely) through the displays, there was still hardly any way to get through everything.

We started out in the Egyptian wing, but didn't spend a lot of time there. I was delighted to get to see the Rosetta Stone.

We soon got into the displays on Assyria, Greeks in Italy, Ancient Cyprus, the Etruscan world, and the Roman Empire. 

I was intrigued by the fine Roman/Italian jewelry. One crown had a tiny, tiny flowers, probably half a centimeter, on it in perfect detail. We also saw some tiny, perfect little gold flies on some Egyptian jewelry that charmed me as well. 

One intriguing display was water pumps and water systems built by the Romans in Italy. There was, for example, a double action water pump on display. 

Eventually we made it into the money rooms. Now, as I've mentioned before, I'm not particularly mercenary, but money history does intrigue me. 

One fun fact I learned was about the criminal, Alvos dos Reis, of Portugal, who comissioned bills to be printed using a faked contract. This meant that the bills were printed with the original plates, making them impossible to differentiate from the originals.

I also found it interesting that although it was illegal to deface coins in the UK, Pears' Soap Company found a workaround for advertisement purposes. They imported a large number of French coins, had their advertisement imprinted over it, then distributed them. They were about the same size and weight as a penny, so were easy to get accepted into the general circulation.

We then entered the clock gallery. That was a super neat place to explore, but by then it was around lunch and I was getting quite hungry. We had just passed a clock made in 1589, known as the Monumental Carillon Clock, when it struck 12:00. We went back to look at it a bit. A figure representing Death strikes the hours. Angels pass before a figure of the Madonna on a lower level while music plays, apparently something written by Martin Luther.

Another interesting item was an automaton from 1584 in the shape of a ship. I have read aout them in different books, but never really seen one in real life. I thought this was a really neat piece. 

Apparently it was used to announce banquets. Music would play, a procession would "march" around a little platform, The ship would roll down the table on little hidden wheels, then the cannons would fire, announcing the beginning of the feast. I'm so impressed with the creativity it took for people to come up with and figure out the mechanics of how to make these things work.

After stopping by the Islamic displays to get a glimpse of some astrolabes, we grabbed lunch at a little Cafe in the museum. It was so fun to sit around there and see all the different people from different cultures enjoying the day. I'm always amazed at how nice people really try to be to each other. I saw one English-speaking couple try to help an Asian couple who knew very little English make room at the table so they could sit together for lunch.

The next unique moment was our stop at the toilets. The toilets themselves weren't so interesting, but the line stretching around the ccorner, out the door, down the hall, nearly to the foot of the stairs was impressive. Of course the men's toilet didn't have a line at all.

After lunch we went to the Reading Room. It is no longer in use, of course, but it would be my dream place to sit and study. 

We then popped into the North American and Mexican display, then went over to the Enlightenment Rooms where we lingered for quite a long while. There were all kinds of things in there, from snow goggles to boomerangs, to fossils. There was a father in there with two little children who was absolutely doing a stunning job with keeping them engaged with the displays. I admired how he was connecting with them and keeping enthusiasm in his voice for everything they commented on and saw. Quite unlike some children who you could tell were absolutely finished with the museum.

We finally left and headed to the Parthenon display. We were checking out some of the stunning statues when the Security workers suddenly started telling everyone to get out, They directed us to an emergency exit and ushered down a flight of stairs, through an underground garage type of situation, then back out into the sunlight. Absolutely everyone had been emptied out of the museum, including all the cafe workers.

This evening I looked it up on Google and it claimed that a suspicious device had been found in a visitor bathroom and the museum had been receiving threatening comunication at the same time.

Since we were on our own and the museum experience had shut down two hours earlier than we anticipated, we decided to head for 221B Baker Street and the Sherlock Holmes Museum.

I don't actually have a lot to say about the museum. If you love Sherlock Holmes, it's worth visiting once. I was tremendously impressed with the attention to detail, including the slipper where Holmes kept the tobacco for his pipe. Everything on display is an authentic, period appropriate antique. I wondered how they had come up with all the things, as it would have been a tremendous challenge to find the items.

We popped in at the gift shop and then stopped at another little souvenir shop, then headed over to a little park to meet the others. For supper we went to a pizza place.

A couple people headed over to a coffee shop, then went down to the tube to head home.

Apparently we are an unbalanced lot. Three of our number have had struggles with falling down. Without giving names, one tripped on the steps of a building, one sprawled in the road in front of a lot of oncoming bikers, who quickly and gallantly came to her aid, and another fell into the laps of two men on the tube who looked incredibly unimpressed, but caused the rest of the group quite a bit of laughter.

We made it back to the flat sooner than we have other evenings and had a great time hanging out and talking about all sorts of subjects. No elaboration on that; you would've just had to have been here.

Goodnight from across the pond!

P.S.

It was 82 degrees and 40% humidity inside the museum. We were finished with heat and stairs. I supposedly walked in the vicinity of 15,500 steps.

London: Day 2

Thursday, May 29

We were supposed to leave the flat at 6:00 a.m. My alarm was certainly going off in time for that to happen, but I felt rebellious and very tired. Furthermore, I consoled myself with the thought that I didn't hear anyone else getting up and around yet, either. So as the completely responsible adult that I am, I stayed in bed.

I finally roused myself around a quarter til. It seemed that suddenly  the whole flat came to life around me. It became apparent that among incorrectly set alarms, oversleeping, and rebellion (me), our whole group had failed to get up on time.

In spite of the rough beginning, we still managed to catch the tube on time and arrive at Paddington Station in time to catch the train to our tour of the Cotswolds.

As near as we could figure out the train was traveling around 123 mph. The countryside was absolutely stunning. Parts of it reminded me a little bit of a mix between Ohio and Louisiana. OK, I know that sounds odd, but just go with it. We passed a lot of Holsteins on the way. When we arrived at Kembel station, we had a while to wander around until our driver picked us up. 

Our driver, Nick, was a great guy that had longsuffering patience with our questions and liked to give us all a hard time. He informed us that the thing the Cotswolds are actually known for are their sheep. We saw a couple flocks, but honestly not that many.

We first visited the town of Cirencester. Nick dropped us off by the St. John Baptist Cathedral. It was built in the normal medeival style, at least as far as my small amount of architectural knowledge could tell. There was a graveyard behind it with some surprisingly modern graves. I think the latest date we found was 2017. Nick told us that Gordon Ramsey's daughter was married there.

After that we all sort of split up a bit. I was overcome with the beautiful loaves of bread available in the market, so I purchased a loaf along with a couple of pastries and Katie, Lindsay, and I tore chunks out of it with our bare hands like savages.

While the rest of the group was shopping, I guess, Lindsay and I found our way to the Corinium Museum. To our dismay, we had only thirty minutes to spend there. The displays were very well done, with a fair amount of Roman artifacts and even several ancient mosaic floors. 

One display talked about how workers were paid and showed a scale of teacher wages which illustrate which subjects the Romans considered most important. The highest paid teachers were those who earned 200-250 Denarii per pupil per month for instruction in the disciplines of Rhetoric and Geometry. The lowest paid teachers were those who were involved in teaching gymnastics.

I was also fascinated with the display that explained the system wealthy Romans used to heat their floors. The floor was supported with small pillars, which left an empty space between the flooring and the foundation. A fireplace was built into one side, and heat was funneled into the empty space. Of course, it was important to have someone to tend the fire at all times if such a heating tactic was used.

We just barely got into the medeival time period when we had to leave to meet back up with our group. I, of course, was heartbroken.

The entire area we were in was absolutely picturesque. I had a flashback to my time in Jamaica when I was shocked that the pictures I'd seen actually weren't photoshopped like I'd always supposed. There were classic stone fences and rustic stone cottages everywhere. Sometimes we caught a glimpse of manor houses among the rolling hills.

As we headed to the village of Tetbury, Nick told us that the Boys in the Boat movie had been filmed in the Cotswolds. He also mentioned that there is an American airbase located in the area, and military planes have been taking off for the Iranian conflict from there in recent days.

In Tetbury, we walked through an old market building built in 1655 and still in use. There were a lot of pelts and chamois available there. We then wandered the streets, poking our noses into little shops and admiring the buildings. I was delighted to venture into  a couple antique stores, but the prices were outrageous, so nothing came out with me.

Lindsay and I also found another museum that was free to go into, so of course we did. the Tetbury Police Museum and Courtroom. Probably my favorite thing there was the display of billy clubs and the true stories you could read of crimes actually comitted in the area.

We stopped in at Highgrove, a little shop owned by King Charles, on our way back to meet the group, then we went for lunch to the Cat and Custard Pot Inn, a traditional English pub. It was, again, one of the most adorable little buildings you can imagine. The atmosphere was friendly and laid back. The food was delicious. Most ordered Steak and Ale Pie, but Kari Jo and I wanted to taste more than one thing, so I ordered the Sausage and Mash with peas. 

Nick gave us anoter interesting tidbit after lunch as we drove to Castle Combe. We were talking about the hedges, and he informed us it is illegal to cut them except at a certain time of year because there is so much of the wildlife that depends on them, damaging the hedges would unbalance the ecosystem.

Castle Combe is full of rustic charm. There was an inn you could stay at, but the only building we went into was St. Andrews Church. There wasn't a lot that stood out about the church to me, but I was thrilled to see what is considered one of the earliest working clocks in England. It was made in the 1400's. If you refer to the image below, the white piece is where the numbers were located.

We also followed the little winding trails up into the beautiful gardens. They were truly my dream garden spots, with stone walls and little doorways and steps and meandering paths with untamed flowers creeping out over the edges of everything. We had fun giving Nedra a hard time about being the last one to the vehicle.

In Lacock, I was completely delighted with the aesthetics of the place. The newest building had been constructed in the 1600's. To live there, you have to have generational ties. A number of films have been partly produced there. 

On the grounds was an Abbey that we were only able to see through a fence that was used in the Harry Potter movies. There was also a house that represented the home of Harry's parents. Pride and Prejudice was also partly filmed there in the Red Lion Pub. 

We poked our noses into the little shops throughout the town, ending in The Chocolate Barn which Nick informed us supplies chocolate to some of the higher class hotels. 

Most of us ordered some sort of delicacy, although we paid prices we certainly wouldn't have paid back in the dear old States. Don't ask how Leann and I nearly got lost walking back to the ride when it was literally the easiest thing ever. As in, start at the van, take four left-hand turns, and you should end up back at the van, right? Yup, that's how it's supposed to work. I shall continue to cling like a leach to people with better directions than myself.

We took the van back to Chippenham where we wandered the streets a bit. Some got supper at a Thai takeaway, and we lingered in a little park by the river before going to catch our train back to London.

And so ends day two.

Some Random Observations:

• So far we've been super impressed with how gentlemanly a lot of these men have been, offering to carry suitcases up and down steps and whatnot. In spite of the sterotypes of quiet Londoners, they are very friendly and helpful if you ask them a question.
• The current exchange rate is about 1 pound to $1..40 USD.
• The ice is lacking.
• Loud Americans really are a thing.
• The bathrooms don't have door gaps and there has been a hook on the door for purses in every single one I've been in so far. A little thing, but sometimes those details are important!
• We're supposed to remove our shoes at the front door of our flat. Somehow we're having a hard time remembering. Also, our flat is spread out over three levels, so we have stairs and more stairs.
• We walked a little over 16000 steps today.
• So many women wearing pretty flowing dresses and skirts!
• People make little hobby crafts or goods and leave them out on their doorstep or a table and leave mobile payment information or a cash box and use the trust system. It delights me.

London: Arrival and Day 1

Tuesday, May 26

I wasn't even angry about spending hours in the Atlanta airport. Occasionally I wandered around the terminal, but always circulated back to the my gate. By the end of the day even the cleaners were commenting on how long I'd been there.

Gloria had a delay in Pensacola and showed up only about three minutes before her zone was called for the London flight. I didn't see her again until we landed at Heathrow.

Wednesday, May 27

I hadn't managed to connect to in-flight Wifi for some reason, so we were on the ground before I found out the rest of our group had their flight canceled in Chicago. Luckily they were still able to catch a later flight, but they didn't get in until about midnight.

Meanwhile, Gloria and I found the flat we had rented, about an hour and a half away from the airport between the tube and walking, and I took a shower. A blissful, blissful shower.

 Impressions of the tube, by the way? Hot, stuffy, crowded. Not a super fun thing in my opinio, except for the people watching. After getting cleaned up we walked over to the Sunflower Cafe.

After enjoying a light meal, we headed back to the flat. We stopped at some type of international grocery market on the way back and admired all the fresh produce. Then we walked back to where we were staying and explored the little grocery right next door.

Once back at the flat I took a nap. It was supposedly going to be just a short nap, an hour or so, but I completely sacked out, having not had a proper night of sleep since Sunday night. Don't ask too many questions about how long I slept. Suffice it to say Gloria and I walked down to the tube station to meet the rest when they came in around midnight, and I hadn't been awake too long. The problem came when I actually tried to go back to sleep. My times were so twisted and my sleep schedule so far off it was ridiculous.

Thankfully the rooms had cooled off at least as London is experiencing a heat wave that is breaking records from the 1920's or so. Unfortunately there isn't an air conditioner, so we have to rely on drafts from the windows and fans.

Day 1

Thursday, May 28

We were up and leaving the flat around 7:20 or so to head to the tube. First on the list was the Tower of London, but we stopped at a little coffee shop first to eat something and make sure those in the group who apparently can't survive without coffee would be fit for the day.

We had about two hours in the Tower of London. Just to be clear, the entire compound of buildings is referred to collectively by that name. While some thought that was plenty of time, Lindsay and I didn't even get through everything. She is a fantastic museum companion. 

We first visited the crown jewels, as the line to get in there wasn't too long and I've heard horror stories of hours-long waits just to get in. It was very crowded already in my opinion, but at least there were no guards yelling at us to hurry or tour guides telling us to get out. Honestly I'm glad I've been through the Crown Jewels display once, but I don't need to go again. I guess I'm not super impressed by flaunted wealth, and it just seemed a bit superfluous.

That being said, the things that impressed me just as much as all the crowns and scepters were the large gold dishes used for communion services and other special occasions. Among the most impressive was the Grand Punch Bowl, measuring about three feet wide and big enough to hold 240 bottles of wine. I kept trying to imagine being the people in charge of serving out of these massive, unweildy looking dishes.

We next visited the White Tower where the famous ravens seem to hang out a lot. Basically, it's a display of weaponry and suits of armor from the past, along with a few odds and ends.

It was impressive to see the Parade of Kings which consists of suits of armor displayed on wooden horses. 

One interesting piece was a parade lance that was positively massive but supposedly only weighed twenty pounds. I also noticed a circular object called the collar of torment and tried to read the plaque. I finally figured out it said it was used as a punishment for scolding wives. Hint to crowded museums: Display the information toward the top of the glass cases so people can read it from the back of the crowd rather than putting everything at floor level. Thank you.

There was also an executioner's ax and block on display. The block was unusual because after use they were generally burnt.

Somehow by that time Lindsay and I were far behind the rest of the group. We went into the Bloody Tower, then visited the place where Sir Walter Raleigh was held. I didn't realize he had cultivated his own herb garden there. Another feature was a display about the two lost princes. If you don't know the story, look it up for yourself. It seems clear that they were likely murdered, but of course I suppose the evidence could be circumstantial. Gloria was informing me on the chat somewhere in there that I didn't need to read everything, but it gets a little hard to pick and choose.

We were heaaded out when we passed the Torture Chalmber. Of course we had to stop there! Looking at the rack used for "stretching" victims made me think of the persecution of the martyrs.

The real facts are, though, that the number of people who were actually tortured in the Tower of London is very small. The number killed there is also not as large as one would think.

We went next to the Borough Market, There is lots of food there: whole booths of cheese and fruit and cuts of meat. There were also bread shops and pastries and other equally unhealthy things. Most of us ended up getting fish and chips for lunch because we were ready for protein and just took the first option that came along. Some of the group wandered about for a while in the Market while others of us went to explore the Southwark Cathedral.

It was a comfortable little cathedral. I was, of course, impressed by the ceiling. I'm not sure what it is about elegant wooden ceilings that enthuse me every time. 

It was soon time to catch the tube again and head to Westminster. We waited around on the sidewalk for a while for our tour time to start, but finally got in. 

I'm not sure what all you know about Westminster Abbey, but it is a functioning church. However, to enter you get to pay a fee unless you attend the Sunday morning service. There are also a lot of people burried there. The ones that made us question how they came to be buried in a place of worship were Charles Darwin and Stephen Hawking.

Sir Isaac Newton is also interred there, which seemed more appropriate.

My favorite place was probably the Poets Corner, where I found the Bronte sisters, Rudyard Kipling, Charles Dickinson, and of course my all-time favorite, Jane Austen.

We were all a little weary from walking, and as we had a little extra time, some of us just sat around a while. We finally exited and found drinks and things while we waited in line for Evensong.

We were lucky enough to get ushered in some of the very first ones, getting front row seats to the spectacle of the service.

We sat on wooden pews right near the choir as pictured above. The service was very full of ceremony, as one would expect. It began with organ music while the clergy and choir walked in, singing a song in Latin while we all stood.

Next, there was a short introduction and then the entire congregation was expected to stand and read the words of a prayer, I guess it was, confessing sins and asking forgiveness. Then the officiant gave the Absolution after which everyone said the Lord's Prayer together.

Next, the officiant and choir sang the responses. The officiant would sing something, and then the choir would respond. I was curious if they chose the officiants according to singing voices or how the practicality of that worked out for them.

The choir did a bit more singing, then there was a reading from Genesis 22:1-18. The choir sang again, then another reading from Hebrews 11:8-19. The choir sang again, then the congregation was supposed to say the Apostles Prayer. I coul not in good conscience say with them that "I believe in the Catholic Church." 

Then there was more singing by the choir and the officiant. It was another call and response type of situation, but the officiant had massive solo parts. I was a little amazed how someone could sing staying on one note for so long.

Finally, prayers were said and there was a final song by the choir. The last one was genuinely beautiful. It was acapella with perfectly lovely harmonies. We all said one more little something together, then the choir and officiants walked out and we were dismissed, too. It was an interesting event. We were expected to stand during the parts where we participated and also during some of the singing parts.

We were all feeling a bit hungry, so we were delighted to find supper at Prezzo, an Italian restaurant.

After Prezzo, it was soon time for our bus tour of London. We rode a vintage double decker bus from the 1960's while our guide, who claimed his name was Oliver Twist, gave us bits and pieces of information about the city mixed with slightly cynical dry humor. I was very tired at the time and am afraid I was unable to retain a lot of what he said.

We did see Cleopatra's needle and drove across a bridge built during WWII, which he claimed was the only bridge built on time and under budget in the whole history of London, this because it had been built entirely by women.

We also saw the monument for those who lost their lives in the fire of London. The thing that struck me was that he claimed more people had died by jumping off the monument than actually died in the disaster it memorializes. 

A high point was seeing a piece of sculpture by the artist Banksy, who always intrigues me.

We were all very weary after the bus ride. It was around 9:00 by the time we started back to the flat. It was close to 10:00 by the time we arrived. Some stopped at the grocery next door to grab some things for breakfast in the morning. 

Gloria said to plan on walking around 20,000 steps a day, which, according to Google, comes out to around 8 miles. The app on my phone claims I logged a little under that, just a shade over 19,000, but there were some who did hit that mark.

It is currently 12:27 a.m., but I wanted to get this written up and not have a massive amount of stuff to write later. I think everyone else is probably in bed, with the exception of the one person who is up doing laundry.

So there you have it. Congratulations if you survived to the end here. I'm refusing to even go back and proofread this, so please forgive all mistakes. Thank you.

Cheers til next time!

Dear DFW and American Airlines: A Break-Up Letter

 Dear DFW and American Airlines:

It is 1:10 a.m. I am in Terminal D, the same terminal where we girls all met to fly to Egypt over a year ago. About twenty minutes ago I was privileged to meet some sisters in the faith from Guatemala. I don't know their names, but I know their smiles. They were visiting in Mississippi or Missouri, I'm not sure which, for a granddaughter's graduation. This is one of the things I love about you, the way you provide me with opportunities to meet people I never would have otherwise. 

While I've been here I've chatted with people who've traveled from Bangkok and New Jersey. Both foreign places to some degree. I have rejoiced with the guys standing in line at the service desk who kept letting people go ahead of them while they waited an hour for their buddy to join them. I smiled when a grandmotherly lady brought them chocolate chip cookies as a thank you. I've reveled in the homey, familiar sound of accents from my old stomping grounds near Mobile. Not that you would let me fly there, of course.

I thought we were going to get along forever. I never envisioned this day would come so swiftly and brutally. It's not that I quit loving you, exactly, because Texas will always hold a bit of my heart, but we have grown apart. There's no point in pretending things will ever be quite the same again. Once you have broken a person's trust to this degree, it's only natural that there would be some caution in any type of relationship going forward.

It wasn't long ago I told someone that I had never had a flight canceled. At least, not one that I had booked for myself. "Don't jinx it," they said. And I only laughed, because I believed in you. I really did.

The first hints of trouble brewing made their appearance on Sunday. I was relaxing at my gate when the announcement was made. So sorry, but the flight was canceled. Canceled! There was no gentle let-down, no subtle delays to warn me. DFW did not want my presence. It was quick and brutal and unforgiving. And we were only ten minutes from departure.

And so I tried to make peace. I rebooked, as you, American Airlines, suggested. I understood that sometimes people have their own personal storms to work through before they can make amends. So I tried to do my part, go the extra mile. I really thought it would work.

Monday arrived. Security was a breeze. I waited across from a bookstore where there was a section of books displaying Theo of Golden prominently, which reminded me that the same is waiting for me to continue listening to on Audible. I enjoyed watching people make selections. My first flight of the day carried me in a state of bliss toward your welcoming land. Again, there was little warning until the announcement. We were in a holding pattern, we were told. We might be holding for an hour. 

Storms were brewing, they said, on every side. But when I talked to the kindergarten teacher seated beside me, she said her friends in Dallas said the storms only lasted fifteen minutes. Nonetheless, since you had started the awkward miscommunications, things soon spiraled out of control. Our pilot came back on to say that we had been diverted. 

Rejection! Any relationship guru can tell you how harmful rejection is. Instead of the Lone Star State, we were being shuttled off to Oklahoma City. I don't personally have anything against Oklahoma (except disagreeing with a certain co-teacher that it's the best state ever), but that wasn't where I wanted to be. We waited there for around two and a half hours, amidst reassurances that DFW was closed completely down, all flights delayed, and we'd probably still reach ours on time. 

Unfortunately, by the time the fuel truck finally showed up (What's up with only one fuel truck, OKC?), my flight had departed from DFW. In vain I tried to communicate. I was met with a brick wall of silence. Well, mostly. The agent I communicated with told me that he couldn't see any updates and I'd have to wait until I landed in DFW to figure out my next move. Seems you need to be a bit more in touch with your own emotion, or motions, or whatever it is, American.

So I tried to relax, tried to tell myself everything would work out between us. Because I'm a hopeless optimist sometimes. But you had more pain in store.

When I finally felt the good solid linoleum of DFW under my  feet, I didn't know where to start because everything had disappeared from my app. I took some time to gaze at the flight schedules and determined there were two flights heading out yet that could get me where I wanted to go: one to Mobile and one to Pensacola. Both were located in Terminal E. I decided I may as well go to that terminal for help.

Once there, I joined a line of people at the customer service counter. I also dialed you, American, on the phone and placed a callback order, not sure which would be faster. I was told the callback wait was ninety minutes. The line only took thirty to forty-five, so that was nice. 

But here's what they say about relationships, American: The relationships that fail can be determined by watching whether or not the partners respond to bids for attention. I should have guess ours was doomed when the agent mumbled at me through her mask and barely made eye contact. I was being as gracious and agreeable as possible under the circumstances, and although she did not respond to my bids for friendliness, I made excuses for her when she printed off a nice new boarding pass and shoved it across the counter to me.

The sad thing is that the flight was delayed before I even made it to the gate which was all of a one minute walk away, thanks to my strategy of figuring out which terminal held the likely flights. After an hour's wait or so, the plane arrived. Everything looked to still be on schedule. Even then we might have been able to salvage our relationship, but it was not to be.

I noticed a sad absence of crew members around the gate. The flight was delayed again. And then? I almost expected it by now, because how many flights actually depart at 12:20 a.m.? Canceled. Again. 

I stood by the wall, trying to see what options your app would give me. I was starting to wonder if that's all I had left of you.

Another passenger said loudly that if they let him on he could fly that plane. He might not land it perfectly, but he could get us there. A woman standing near me gave a metaphorical snort. "I'm a pilot," she said, "there's no way he could fly that plane."

I asked her if she flew commercial or private. She said private. I would have talked to her more, but I was really getting concerned about our relationship by that point, so I again took measures to fix things. All the disappointments and rejections I have ever experienced came flooding back as I stood waiting in line at Customer Service once again. That might be an exageration, but you get the point.

I was in line with a lot of people trying to reach Mobile. The man behind me showed me screenshots of why the flight had been canceled and seemed to want to chat. So did the woman ahead of me. That is one thing to be said for you, DFW. Perhaps you don't do too well with relationships, but you have apparently learned that humans bond quickly in adverse circumstances. Thankfully the line moved fairly quickly. 

The agent I met with this time genuinely did her best to help me. I explained my predicament. All flights available in the morning would get in too late for me to catch my London flight out of Pensacola. She said she could route me straight to Pensacola if she sent me on a detour through Houston. That sounded OK, until I found out that I'd get into Pensacola at 4:00, have to deplane, collect my bag, check it back in, go through security, and get on my next flight. It would not give a lot of extra time, and no extra time at all if there were to be more delays. 

Your motto is, apparently, "Let Good Take Flight." By several minutes after midnight I was starting to think all your good really had taken flight. I will hand it to your agents. They did their best, but you've got to come up with some way to help them out. They were clearly over-worked and exhausted. They worked on figuring out arrangements for me to fly straight to Atlanta for forty-five minutes or an hour. And part of that time the poor agent was battling against your own system. She would put in flight details, and someone or something working from the opposite end kept changing them back.

She did not seem disappointed to abandon me (Do you see a pattern here? betrayal, no communication, abandonment, etc., etc.) {That was for you, Sadie.} and go run something down to crew on the ground or something. Her manager took over and within an astonishingly short time had found me a flight to Atlanta, which departs at 9:35 a.m. and arrives around half past 12. I do think second chances are in place, but I'm not sure how many chances to give after that. 

Currently, I am exhausted, but unable to sleep. I have removed my contacts and am remembering why I don't like glasses; they always slide down my nose. I feel like an absolute ball of grease and unsavory smells. I am slightly ravenous. And I am slowly becoming a bit unhinged. Your emotional manipulations have worn me down. 

Maybe I will regret this, but I think it's over between us. I know everyone goes through difficult seasons in life, but your season of spring and summer storms is too much for me, DFW. I need something a little more calm and stable. And American, your traffic control was a mess. There were planes piled all over the place just waiting to have some direction. This won't do, you know. 

The only hope of salvaging this relationship is if you can find me some cheesecake somewhere. Then, maybe, I'll consider letting the past be the past. But for now? You've done too little too late. I shall always remember you with fondness, but there comes a time to let things go. 

Bittersweet memories and all that, I shall always love you, but it's best if I go, to loosely quote.

The end.

P.S. I wasn't kidding about the cheesecake, although I know nothing is as dramatic as it seems at this hour in the morning.

What I'm Reading: March Recap

How has another month passed so quickly? I did not nearly complete everything I had hoped to this month. But without further ado, here is the list as it stands.

	$	$$	$$$	$$$$	$$$$$
Recommend-ability	I highly recommend not reading this book.	Don't bother.	You might enjoy it.	Would definitely recommend	Absolutely loved it. I will likely recommend to every person I talk to for the next month.
Writing Style	Extremely poor	Well, they know how to spell and what a period is.	Average. Just… Average.	Good job. I might be a little envious of their way with words.	I stand amazed.
Likelihood of Reading Again	Are you kidding? I lost enough brain cells the first time.	Nope.	Maybe, but doubtful.	Probably will read again.	I will definitely re-read. Way too many things I found fascinating.
Thought-Provoking	What thoughts?	I think there was a thought somewhere.	Sort of basic thoughts, but accurate.	Some lingering thoughts. That's a good sign.	So much to think about. My brain is on fire!
Subject Matter of General Interest	There should not have been ink and paper wasted on this book. I now understand tree-huggers.	Not my style, personally, but might be interesting to someone of a different temperament.	Interesting, but may be specific to my personal tastes.	Fun things to think about. May be quotable. Likely to appeal to a variety of personalities.	Positively fascinating. I will be quoting this for years. Absolutely everyone should read this book.

 

Practical Pantomimes
By Louis J. Huber
Acting, Skits, Humor, Fiction; 95 pages, Not available on Audible
Physical Copy
 
Have I read it before?
I have not. I’ve read very few plays and skits.
 
How did I find it?
Thrift store discovery! My copy has definitely seen some hard times. First printed in 1937, this book is readily available in the public domain. For some reason which I did not spend time researching it is considered a culturally significant work.
 
What is it about?
This is a book of short pantomimes in which there is a reader who narrates a story while other participants act it out. These are meant to be simple skits, easily done with things you would have around your house. The acts are meant to be fun and funny and nonprofessional. Some were written more as narration while others are in rhyming form. There weren’t really any of the skits that I would want to be part of producing, but they did inspire me with ideas. I can definitely imagine myself, not re-reading the book in its entirety, but browsing for a specific purpose. I think something could be made out of them. Maybe the problem was that they just didn’t quite fit my sense of humor. Each pantomime seemed to follow a very similar pattern of figurative speech being taken literally, and while this is funny for a while, it doesn’t stay funny for the endurance.
 
Any warnings?
None whatsoever. However, I found Practical Pantomimes very difficult to rate, as you will notice below.
 
What’s a quote?
Oh, I do have a few favorite lines.
“Mary clapped her hands and Jojo entered the room very quietly. That is, he didn’t make any more noise than a locomotive.” (from “A Spy Story”)
“Most dice have only two sixes, or twelve, as their highest number, but this pair was loaded. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, we give you an idea of what kind of war it was—even the dice were loaded.” (from “War Is Not Well”)
“He rang the bell, but Adolph thought it was a passing streetcar and paid no heed. Adolph never paid taxes either, so why should he pay heed?” (from “The Gentleman’s Gentleman”)
 
Recommendability: $$
Writing Style: $$$$
Likelihood of Reading Again: $$$
Thought Provoking: $$
Subject Matter of General Interest: $$
 
 
Lafayette in the Somewhat United States
By Sarah Vowell
Historical, Nonfiction; 288 pages, 8 hrs. 7 min.
Audible
 
Have I read it before?
No.
 
How did I find it?
Lafayette in the Somewhat United States popped up as an Audible recommendation. Several years ago, I believe I proofread a book about Lafayette for the school library. I fell in love with the romantic heroism of a wealthy young orphan so taken with the idea of freedom that he would leave his own country to fight for such on behalf of another.
 
What is it about?
I found the book well written, a good mix of explanation on the research, different viewpoints, excerpts, and fun information I didn’t know previously, with a little sarcasm thrown in to boot. There were plenty of references made to other moments in the Revolution that makes me fear I have started irrevocably down a Revolutionary rabbit hole. Oh well, there could be worse things than that. Lafayette, if you’ve forgotten, was only 19 when he slipped away from France to help the Americans fight for their freedom. This was without the blessing of his king or his father-in-law. He left behind a young, pregnant wife as well. The book describes how Lafayette longed to earn honor and glory. Not the most Christian sentiment, certainly, but very intriguing to me. Among accounts lifted out you will find the story of the battle in which he was wounded and the winter at Valley Forge.
 
Any warnings?
Nope.
 
What’s a quote?
“While the melodrama of hucking crates of tea into Boston Harbor continues to inspire civic-minded hotheads to this day, it’s worth remembering the hordes of stoic colonial women who simply swore off tea and steeped basil leaves in boiling water to make the same point. What’s more valiant: littering from a wharf or years of doing chores and looking after children from dawn to dark without caffeine?”
 
Recommendability: $$$
Writing Style: $$$$
Likelihood of Reading Again: $$$$
Thought Provoking: $$$$
Subject Matter of General Interest: $$$
 
 
The Unexpected Adventure
By Lee Strobel and Mark Mittelberg
Religious, Nonfiction; 292 pages, 7 hrs. 20 min.
Audible
 
Have I read it before?
No, although I was familiar with Lee Strobel’s name.
 
How did I find it?
I saw this book recommended on someone’s status. As I love Lee Strobel’s book, The Case for Christ, in which the author shares his search for evidence pertaining to the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus, eventually becoming convinced of truth and turning from atheism to Christianity, I was interested to find out more about this title.
 
What is it about?
The premise of this book is to inspire Christians to evangelism. This is done by a series of stories from the authors, recounting the adventures they have had in telling others the Good News. The most touching story, to me, was one of the authors who felt compelled to speak to his father-in-law about becoming a Christian. Little did he know that would be the last conversation they ever had. Another story tells of motorcycle daredevil, Evil Knievel, and how he turned to Christ toward the end of his life. There are dramatic moments of misunderstandings and debates, but also simple conversations at restaurants or on airplanes.
 
Any warnings?
I don’t feel certain that this book lines up 100% with my own theology, but I still found it worth the time to read. It’s made me reconsider some of my own choices. Why can’t I say “God’s given us a beautiful day!” when engaging in small talk with a stranger instead of “It’s a nice day out?”
 
What’s a quote?
“After all, he is the great evangelist; we’re merely the tools that he uses to fulfill his mission of redeeming the world, one individual at a time.”
 
Recommendability: $$$$
Writing Style: $$$$
Likelihood of Reading Again: $$$$
Thought Provoking: $$$$
Subject Matter of General Interest: $$$$
 
 
Hypergifted
By Gordon Korman
Fiction, Junior ; 272 pages, 5 hrs. 18 min.
Audible
 
Have I read it before?
No, although I have read the sequels, Ungifted and Supergifted.
 
How did I find it?
I saw it pop up on Audible. I loved Gordon Korman when I was young, and I’m always curious to see what he is writing now. It’s interesting to me to observe how authors change through the years.
 
What is it about?
If you are familiar with Gordon Korman, this book contains many elements that are classic: Junior summer camp counselors, a super smart kid, a kid who disappears and is great at avoiding questions about where he goes, and a kidnapped pig. OK, maybe the last one isn’t quite so classic, but animals do end up in odd places in many books, it seems. I did think this book tied together a number of elements found in older books like I Wanna Go Home and No Coins Please with things found in some of the newer books, like The Superteacher Project what with some of the references to AI. As this is the third book in the series, the characters were already familiar. I did have trouble believing that someone who correctly predicted a pregnancy in book one did not recognize the same signs in book three. I also thought the climax was somewhat lackluster.
 
Any warnings?
I didn’t feel there was as much disrespect in this book as there are in some of Korman’s works, actually, although there were the same elements of hiding things from adults. Also, this story does take place on a college campus, so some references to partying, but if you let your children read other Korman books, this one will be fine, too.
 
What’s a quote?
I guess I don’t have one.
 
Recommendability: $$$
Writing Style: $$$$
Likelihood of Reading Again: $$$
Thought Provoking: $$$
Subject Matter of General Interest: $$
 
 
Here’s hoping that April will give me time to get in a little more reading! I currently have four books in progress, so that seems hopeful. As always, I’m open to your thoughts and recommendations!